Monday, November 12, 2012


I’m going to launch into a series of blogs on reframing. Reframing is a very valuable tool for keeping one’s self at ease and maintaining an open mind.

Reframing is finding a different perspective for any situation. When one has a negative perspective, it restores hope and motivation. When one has a positive perspective, it allows for greater empathy to consider that others may have a negative perspective about the same thing. So either way, reframing gives one the ability to have an elevated vantage point, which is comforting and humbling. 

It is hardly ever events in themselves which produce a reaction in humans. It is humans’ conclusions based on those events which produce the reaction. The act of someone yelling at you lasts for about ten seconds. That’s objective reality. The anger you feel afterward is because of the subjective conclusion drawn by you such as: “he yelled at me because I am stupid”, or, “he’s mean”, or, “I’m not safe.” Wonder if you could simply say to yourself, “that person raised his voice at me”? Period. It’s natural for humans to search for meaning because it helps us to decide how to handle situations and alerts us to areas we may need to change. However, extracting the meaning from a situation is a coping mechanism. This is non-judgmental awareness, something similar to meditation. This gets you through difficult moments that otherwise could rip your ability to persevere and love yourself to shreds.

With reframing, if someone cuts in front of you in traffic, instead of him being an insensitive incompetent jerk, he is possibly late to work, upset, distracted, old, going to the hospital, who knows. It doesn’t so much matter whether you’re right or wrong about your subjective conclusion. It matters more that you remain calm so that your health is optimal, your participation in your life more effective. Later, if you wish to deal with the emotions you feel, certainly do so. That’s very healthy. But don’t linger in them. Deal with them, consider another perspective, and try to move on.

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